OMG YOU'RE ENGAGED!

"So when's the wedding date?!"

Most obnoxious question ever. You were engaged 3 seconds ago. You haven't even regained your balance, nonetheless picked a date.

Hubby proposed to me at the end of his grandparent's dock in NH. Sassy was rather intrigued.

If you're like me, you probably feel an immense amount of pressure to start making lists and decisions ASAP. GOOD! Follow that instinct! However, do it in the proper order.

A lot of people decide how many people to invite and then create a budget from there. I, however, offer you a different solution that may keep everyone a bit more sane. Hubby and I knew we were paying for the whole wedding ourselves. And we had to go through a New England winter with inadequate heating sources in the house that costs quite a pretty penny. And don't forget everything decides to break the minute you have $500 in the savings account.... This was going to be tricky.


STEP 1- RESEARCH

Woah! How much do these things even COST?! What is a good price per head for a meal? What the hell is a ceremony AND bridal suite fee?!

We had 2 options- get married in our back yard, or get married somewhere else. So I tapped into some of our landscaping clients, found out how much it would cost to redo our back yard, get it ceremony ready. Then there was parking, travel, caterers, tent rentals, car rentals, porta-potty rentals, linen rentals, chair rentals, and dance floor rentals to consider (PS- THIS is why brides (or grooms- all the power to you) have binders!). I got quotes and added them up.

I'm not talking any old outhouse here! Via New England Restrooms, Inc.

Then I started calling around to locations I liked for a wedding venue. Price per head, different types of fees, what days were cheaper than others, what months people had available.

STEP 2- HOW MUCH CAN YOU SAVE

Cue Leftie (as I affectionately call the left side of my brain). I made a spreadsheet. At the top, I had our monthly income. Below, I listed all our monthly expenses. Bills, loans, groceries, dog accessories, a believable amount for entertainment. And figured out what our net monthly savings was. Living as we were,  we would only be able to have 10 people at our wedding. Not an option.

Things to cut back on: buying Sassy expensive things. Santa brought her this bed. From Petsmart

But she's just so adorable in her bed!

So we called Comcast, Verizon, and Netflix, and asked what we could do to save money. We found about $80 a month that way. We created a budget for entertainment and groceries. No more lunch trips to Marshall's for me. No more lunches out at work for hubby. $1,000 from savings. $3,000 from some stock we had saved for just this occasion. Without going into debt, we could spend $12,000 on our wedding.

SIDE NOTE: At this point, you find out how much of that $12k you can spend towards ceremony and food. But I address that in another blog post.

STEP 3- NOW START A GUEST LIST

My husband has a very large and very close family. So I had him make a list. Well, 3 lists. "A" list- people who NEED to be there (you can't NOT invite Nana!), "B" list- extended family we see at least once a year (the second cousins we see at the family reunions every year). and the "C" list- people we haven't seen since college (does the freshman year roommate we haven't talked to in 5 years really need to be there?) Hubby's "A" list along was 50 people. My "A" list was 40. It looked like we were well on our way to a 100-150 person wedding.

SO. With that information, we can figure out if a venue or our backyard would be more affordable. For us, it was a venue. And with the price per head we received from the venue we picked, we could afford 100 people! Tada! Now we know who to pick from that list. And it's wedding fact that only 80% of the people you invite come, so we had an invite list of 125 people. 100 RSVPed yes. 95 showed up.

See how easy that was? No? Yeah, me neither. This took a long time. Which is why I say START SOON! Do this in little pieces. This is not something that's accomplished in one afternoon. This whole process took about 4-6 weeks.  Be patient with one another. Let this be a lesson in communication with your partner.

Did this help? Did you do anything differently? Any questions or suggestions? Post them below!