I thought wedding dress shopping would be like something out of "Say Yes to the Dress". I figured I'd try on 3 or 4 dresses, fall madly in love, my mother would start crying, and we'd know it was the one. I was especially hoping Randy would come around the corner, and tell me how fab that dress was, and that I was the most beautiful bride EVER! Oh, and here is a 30% discount just because you're so fabulous.
If you take nothing away from this blog post, please understand that 99.99% of the time, this will not be your experience.
I personally had the added struggle of body image issues. April 24, 2012, I decided I was done being overweight. I just made the decision to lose weight. I lost 50 pounds using MyFitnessPal. (No, they don't pay me to promote their website, I just really believe in the way they help).
My Before and After
So I had spent all my time looking at dresses that I thought would fit my large frame, and hide my problem areas. I had even been looking at plus size wedding gowns. As previously discussed, I knew a ball gown and satin were not for me. I wanted to be classy, and elegant, but still have people say WOW! I was open to lace, but didn't have my heart set on it.
I decided to go to Marry & Tux in Nashua, NH, as they were close, and easily accessible for any friends traveling for my appointment. My bridesmaids, Tina (our photographer), and my seamstress (a very good friend's Mom) were at my appointment. Now that's only 4 people, but take into account me, the sales associate, and any other woman in the small salon who wants to give their opinion, you've got a LOT of voices flying around you. I'm the loudest and most opinionated out of all of them, and I still felt very overwhelmed.
Mythbuster fact #1- you have an hour. And that sales associate wants to make that sale. So she will try to get you in and out of every dress as fast as possible. And she will ask you to make split second decisions. There is no grey area with these people. "Do you love it? GREAT LET'S BUY IT!" "Do you hate it? Fine, I won't even finish lacing it up." Um, hello? Maybe I don't like it because you didn't finish lacing it up. Maybe I'm not head over heels right now, but I'd like to assess what parts I may like, and figure out why I don't like it. When your hour is up, you are S.O.L. Those friends and family who drove an hour to see this, they are S.O.L. also.
Mythbuster fact #2- the sales associates aren't magic. They don't find the perfect 4 gowns for you to try on out of their inventory of thousands. She had me go through the racks and pull dresses to try. The body on the right up there would look in the mirror and see the body on the left. I was shopping in the plus size section, pulling dresses from there. Someone should have turned me around right then and there. I wasted a lot of time pulling gowns that I thought would cover my non-existent stomach, or imaginary huge thighs.
So my hour was up, I was more confused then ever, I felt completely defeated, and I had just wasted quite a bit of my friends time. I was completely and utterly defeated. I desperately wanted my soon to be Hubby to help me. He can always walk into a store, and know exactly which dress I should try on to look my absolute best. But he did not want to be part of this process. Hindsight being 20/20- I am so glad we did that. (I still wanted to do a first look, but whatever. Hubby's wishes).
I did not sleep that night. I was so distraught that I did not find my dress first time. Everybody does, right?! And I love to shop so much, how could I have failed so miserably?! There must be something wrong with me, right? Mythbuster fact #3- NOPE! No one really finds their dress first time around. Except for those people on Say Yes to the Dress (damn them and their false expectations).
The next day I went to David's Bridal. Mostly because they were the only dress store open on a Sunday, and I could go in without an appointment. I went by myself. And I was honest with the sales associate. I did not plan on buying a dress that day. I needed to try different silhouettes on, and figure out what worked on my body. Because my mind's eye obviously was out of whack. She respected that, and we got to work. She kind of brought me one of everything.
She found this gown, and I really liked it. It had a hint of pink on the flowers, and the flowers were three dimensional. I liked that the neckline was like a sweet heart neckline, but wasn't low enough to give Nana a heart attack. But at the same time, I knew this wasn't my final gown. It was pretty, but didn't have the hint of elegance I needed.
Back to research. The interwebs lead me towards Maggie Sottero gowns. Beautifully built, attention to detail, and in the affordable range of crazy expensive wedding gowns. And go figure, Marry and Tux was my region's leading seller of Maggie Sottero gowns. I made an appointment for the next Saturday.
A fun tidbit of information for those who don't know me. I'm about 6' tall. And then they stand you on a pedestal that's about 3 or 4 inches. And they have you swan dive into these gowns. I tell you all this, because the only sales associate I could see was the woman who was 5'10". No one else was tall enough to help me in and out of my gowns. This woman would not stop talking. I eventually just stopped listening to her. Didn't even answer her questions. Oye. Vey.
I found my gown. Geneva by Maggie Sottero. It was one I specifically remember walking right by my first time in the store. It was simply perfect in every way. A work of art.
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| Back of my dress. |
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| The front of my gown |
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| You can see the beautiful details of the flowers and crystals here. |
There weren't fireworks. There wasn't a camera crew to catch every moment. There wasn't a crying mother in the corner. It was me, tuning out the sales lady, and deciding it was perfect.
Soon, we'll talk about dress fittings, and how to store your dress in the mean time.
What was your experience like? Tell me about your gown below!
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