How's the Weather Up There??

This post is totally a rant about being a tall chick and the problems that ensue.

You've been warned, continue to read at your own risk.

This post came out of the headache that is jeans for me. Now, I know jeans are not easy for anyone of any size to find that are comfortable, fit, and don't fall off your ass. But now, let's pretend you are 6' tall, have "child bearing hips", and a small beer belly that you aren't willing to give up beer for.

I suck at sports. GASP!

When you're tall, pants aren't just about the inseam. I need a 35-36" inseam on my pants. Believe it or not, that's not hard to find online anymore! Waahoo!

But you know what else almost NO ONE seems to think of? The seat of the pant and the zipper of the pant needs to be longer too! My hips are wider and taller! Holy uncomfortable pants Batman!!

Sorry, what kind of car do you have? No, sorry, I can't fit in the back seat.

But pants aren't where this problem ends. I went shopping with Hubby this weekend with some of the gift cards we got for Christmas. Here is a list of things that came out of my mouth:

1. "They don't have men's gloves so I can't buy any here."
2. "My shoulders are too wide to wear any shirts here."
3. "This sweater would stop at my belly button."
4. "I could wear this as a 3/4 length sleeve shirt..."
5. "Unless I want to look like a man, I will never own a leather jacket."
6. "I can buy these shoes! They carry 11s and they are open toed!"
7. "Hold on, I want to look at the men's section real quick to see if they have anything that might fit."

Freakin A!!! I'm not a man! Why am I expected to shop in the men's section to find something that fits?! And when I say "fits" I mean is wide enough in the shoulders and long enough in the arms. I'm doomed to never have a waist line on any jacket I own, unless I belt it.

Excuse me while MY HEAD EXPLODES!

Here is a list of clothing I must purchase from the men's section exclusively:
1. Winter Jackets
2. Winter Boots
3. Socks
4. Sleep pants
5. Sneakers
6. Gloves

Yes, there are websites like Longtallsally.com, but I'm not prepared to spend $150 on one article of clothing, and I damn well shouldn't be expected to! And why can't I try things on in a store to see if I like it?

But finally, I would be amiss if I didn't make of list of things that rock about being tall:
1. I can see over everyone's heads.
2. I can reach stuff.
3. Big people are harder to kidnap.
4. I gain much more respect from the chauvinistic clients who don't want to give a 20-something woman the time of day.
5. Maxi Dresses
6. Fewer steps to go the same distance.

I am every old lady's friend at the grocery store.

/rant.